“I don’t strive for a fun life – fun is something you do, it’s hard work, you have to go to Vegas to had fun, you have to go out with your friends to have fun. Joy in other hand is a state of being, at one point you look at your life and notice all the joy and happiness there”
I don’t remember what show we were watching a few days ago – might’ve been Nightly News or something like that – thing is, TV was on for noise, we were both reading but an interview caught my eye… or should I say ear. Honestly, I don’t even know who the person being interviewed is but something he said stuck with me… (now I’m paraphrasing)
At first it took me by complete surprise but after thinking about it, I completely understand what he was talking about.
As much as I hate to admit it, I compare my life to other people’s lives. And I feel pretty confident saying I’m not the only that does that but anyway, when I look at my peers’ lives, the lives people I went to school with are having, I usually think “men, it looks like they’re having so much fun” – but is fun what I really want in my life?
After watching that interview – okay, those 2 minutes of that interview – I’ve thought about it a lot. If someone were to look from the outside into my life they probably wouldn’t see a lot of fun going on. I am a full time student, I commute 1-2hrs each way, I work, and I’ve started an online business. To say I don’t have a lot of friends in WA and don’t go out much is quite the understatement. I look at my peers’ lives and they are off on vacations, taking violins lessons, going out, and generally having fun.
Now don’t get me wrong, I do have some fun – I take camping trips with my husband, I go to concerts and Broadway shows, we go out to dinner and movies a lot. But truth is, I have a lot more joy in life.
I’m not just going to school, I’m going to one of the best schools in the world. I don’t just work, I have -what for now qualifies as – a dream job. And I absolutely love designing things for people. I have an absolutely amazing husband, my mom is healthy and working, my dogs are the cutest, we are in no way, shape or form struggling.
All of those things bring me great joy. Everyday, all day. Because the thing about fun is that it is fleeting. Joy in the other hand, isn’t. True it takes hard work. I wouldn’t lie to you and tell you that this life happened in the blink of an eye, because it didn’t. I have worked really hard to get here, to get to a point where I can honestly look around at my life and say “Damn, I have a good life. I have so much joy, so much happiness” but a lot of that work has been getting better at looking at the good things in life and less at the bad.
The problem about comparing our lives with everyone else’s is that we do not see their struggles – the behind the scenes -, we only see the good things. Well, this is what we need to do with our lives, we need to look at the good. And whatever bad there is, if we can fix it, we need to fix it but we also need to know what out of our hands and let it go.
True, my friends’ lives look fun but damn it I have a good life and full of joy and I couldn’t possibly ask for anything more.